Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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