His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
