She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
