Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
