You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You pole danced in your parka.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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