my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
my liver is dry heaving
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize