I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
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