I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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