you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize