Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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