Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize