When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
