I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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