I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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