I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
