who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
