is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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