Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You were trust falling into bushes
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
