So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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