Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
