I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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