all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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