Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize