so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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