Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize