What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just want nice things and good sex
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
