oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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