You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
