So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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