I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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