dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
