Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
