David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
