She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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