DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
