I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
