I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
