Dignity is for republicans.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
