First date: that requires underwear, huh?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize