i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
