Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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