No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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