You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
