My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
