we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
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Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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