But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This house was built for laser tag.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
