you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
