Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
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I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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