i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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