i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
