I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
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Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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