CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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