I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My balls are so social today.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize