your thong is hanging out like whoa
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
