this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
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OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
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I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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