Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This is the high leading the old right now
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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